4 Comments

When BDSM is Abuse

  1. I had an interesting discussion with a female the other day where I tried to explain the difference between abuse and BDSM. The hard part with a topic like that is that I am into BDSM and it becomes natural to me to see a distinct difference between the two. That also makes it a bit harder to communicate the differences and why BDSM has nothing to do with real abuse.The most important thing that differs BDSM from real and destructive abuse is the consent. All BDSM is built upon trust , consent, and communication. Real abuse doesn’t include consent. Many females fall prey to abuse, mainly because they are in a hurry to find the one, their soul mate if you will. Willing to go along with just about anything to prove who they are. There are men who prey on these types of women, this is abuse.
  2.  The other big difference is what I would like to describe as a theft, the fact that your powers are stolen from you by the abuser in real abuse. In BDSM the submissive hand over the powers to the dominant, voluntarily and with consent. The dominant then treats that with respect and care.
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4 comments on “When BDSM is Abuse

  1. Yes, there is a difference between consenting to be harmed and not consenting to be harmed that is the big difference between BDSM situations and abusive situations.

  2. In the lifestyle it is important to find someone you are compatible with. The objective of a good Dominant is not to hurt his, but to guide, take care of, to cherish.

    The abuse I was speaking of was that of those who prey on submissive’s or slaves. Those who claim to be Dominants or Masters.

    To these, this is a fantasy nothing more, an open door to abuse, now are they thinking abuse? No not in anyway, it is a game.
    I have been in the lifestyle for some 20 years, from my experience, most not all but most submissive’s come with some sort of baggage, be it abuse as a young child, molested, or even rape.

    These so called Doms have not a clue, what he is getting into or the damage he is about to do. These are men who think with there dicks, little head not the brain.

    We all know there are two types of men, those who are in control, and those who are controlling , you can guess where the abuse comes from.

    This does not have to be a D’s relationship, vanilla as well.

  3. I read somewhere that submission is giving your Dom the power to destroy, and trusting him not to. I think that’s a key difference between BDSM and abuse.

  4. I suppose you could put it that way, really sounds kinda harsh, but I do understand the statement.
    Trust is a major issue in the D’s lifestyle , with trust is where the communication comes in.
    I spoke about communication earlier, as you begin to open up, you begin to trust more. The trust is much greater than a vanilla relationship,as well.
    Thank you for posting, we look forward hearing from you more.

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