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Men and Women: How Do You Feel About Being ‘Checked Out’?

Lots of women find it creepy to be checked out. I have mentored lots of young women who have told me being checked out (especially by someone they are not attracted to), can be creepy. Some women like it, though. And today I was talking to someone about a straight male relative of mine who was checked out (and creeped out) by a gay man until I told him to be flattered (because he’d be flattered if a woman did it).

Here’s an article at Jezebel responding to one at the Globe & Mail about why men (for reasons I’m not sure) cannot help but stare at your butt:

I’ve never held a particularly strident stance on the issue of men staring at women in public—sometimes it’s fine, mostly it’s creepy, and the difference hinges on a jillion subjective subtleties. Some women like it, plenty of women do it to men (irrelevant! Power differential!), and anyway, if we make having eyeballs a crime then only criminals will have eyeballs. SCIENCE FACT. So as long as women’s voices are being heard and considered (you know, the women who don’t feel comfortable being publicly roped into every stranger’s sexual fantasy) and men at least try to keep it on the civilized side of creepy, then whatever. Have at it.


About Jen

Have been a jack of all trades. I'm a former philosopher who specialized in ethics and political philosophy. I'm a sex positive feminist.

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