Several years ago I had a slave, who was the love of my life, big age difference I was 37 and she was turning 19, we were together for almost 7 years. She had never even pumped gas, never did while we were together. She was cherished and loved.
The problem was not that she was a slave, she wanted to be Micromanaged, a role I had never taking part in, nor have I ever gave it any thought. I was in for a huge surprise.
So I had taken on the training role, I was her second Dom, now came the Micromanagement role. I made calls for a week, asking for help in this area.
I planned the weeks meals on Sunday night, Breakfast and dinner. I planned laundry day, I planned grocery shopping including a list on what to buy. Bath time, which most of the time I would bath her.
What time to get up, time to go to bed, when to go to the bank, your getting the picture. A year into the relationship I began to think, well this cannot be healthy for her.
After all A Dominant wants to make sure his improves there life in all areas. So we talked about her going to school, I allowed her to stop working, Off to College we go.
Well fuck me, I just fucked myself real good, not only was I doing everything else, I am now helping with homework. Wow so here I am working 50 hrs a week, along with everything else. A lot work. In the end though it was well worth it, she now teaches at UCF happily married and a child, guess what her new Dominants role is.
The question to ask is this a healthy relationship, while some slave or submissive really need this type of environment, I do not see where it can do them any good. Just my opinion…
Here is an article I found that has a lot of information, it gives the good and bad..
what exactly is micro and macro management and how is it applied to BDSM. These questions are consistently raised within the BDSM community. Research on the net proved to be fruitless for few websites mentioned this phenomenon, so I took it upon myself to analyze this topic and correlate them into a somewhat readable essay.
The formal definition of Micromanagement is: Micro-management is an example of poor management where the manager over-manages people unnecessarily. The manager may be motivated by concern for details. The effect, however, may be to de-motivate employees and create resentment. Micro implies extremely small in scale and scope or capability. Applied in a BDSM sense, as an example, this is when the Master demands/orders us to keep a clean house (macro management) and then stands over us the whole time and tells us how to do the cleaning (micro management). Or if the Master request us to cook healthy well balanced meals (macro) and then proceeds to inform us what to cook and how to cook it. That is micro management.
Why Do Masters/Doms micromanage?
1) They have no clear sense of their role within the relationship. They think this is what they should be doing. Going into a 24/7 TPE is definitely a major step and one not to be taken lightly. So when a Master goes into this type of relationship clearly not knowing what is expected of Him, then they automatically assume this is their role.
2) There has been no previously agreed upon set of terms between the Master and slave. The Master erroneously believes that micro management is His role. There is no clear set of rules to define which decision belongs to the Master and which decision belongs to the slave. The Master may want healthy home cooked meals and demands that of the slave, that is Macro management but if He then goes to stove and informs her of how and what to cook, then He is now micro managing. With no set terms and guidelines, nor any pre-discussion of these issues, then Masters will have a tendency to venture into the slaves area of responsibility, simply because there is no one there to tell them not to.
3) Management of day-to-day issues is what Masters know from real life. Most of us don’t “lead” in our every day lives. Most of us “do”. Many Masters/Doms that we have met are in positions of control and power outside the home. That does not end when He returns home at night. And engaging in a BDSM lifestyle may only intensify that “leading.”
4) They are Masters; they are here to lead us, the slaves. So they have every right to micro-manage. Which is absolutely true as long as one is aware of the dangers (see below) in doing so.
5) Remnants of Crisis If the relationship or the slave has just experienced a crisis then the Master jumps in with both feet. Trying to correct the situation and make sure the slave comes out as a survivor. In times of crisis most people will micro manage in order to get past the situation. Once the crisis time is over, though, then things should return to normal. The danger here is that the memory of crisis becomes institutionalized. Lingering long after the crisis has ended. The Master continues to act as if there is a crisis long after the crisis is over, micromanaging from some cellular level.
6) Fear – At the root of virtually all micromanagement is fear. Fear that if they don’t do it, no one else will (or no one will do it as well). Fear that the slave will fail will have horrible things happen to them. Fears about money. When Masters micromanage, they are usually concerned about the health and safety of the slave. If you can keep in mind that Masters micromanage because they care and therefore have fears and concerns, and NOT because they are power hungry control freaks, then we are better equipped to deal with the issue of micromanaging.
Benefits of Micro Managing
1) You are completely and totally in control
2) You are aware of every move your slave makes
3) The slave can and will be come completely dependent upon You
Dangers of Micro Managing
1) It will ultimately limit the growth of a slave.
2) Can stifle a slave’s success.
3) It is a bad habit that’s difficult to break.
4) There is a high rate of failure, anxiety, and depression, caused by the inability of the Master/Owner to step aside and let their slave/sub basked in the joy of efficiently and elegantly serving the Master and showing Him/Her what They created.
5) Micro management can be tiring; the Master can get bogged by the minuet day to day task of managing and controlling everything the slave does. This can result in confusion for the slave and her inability to prioritize.
6) When an owner is involved in every aspect of the slave’s actions, his or her ability to focus on any one area is diminished and signs of pending problems are often missed. And since there is never a break from the slave and her actions, Master, BDSM burnout is a common consequence, which often leads to relationship failure.
7) It is inefficient and in effective to micro manage a slave. If you’re watching over her every move then what are You accomplishing.
9) Can stifle the slave’s creativity.
10) Slave burnout.
11) Low self-confidence due to the dependency upon the Master to make and control all decisions and aspects of the slave’s life.
12) Rigid structure permitting little or no flexibility
It is very difficult to define Macro Management but in general terms it implies on a larger scale. More freedom and liberties are granted where the manager allows the staff to partake in more of the business operations. In a BDSM sense, I believe it implies the managing of a slave on a larger scale. As stated above, ordering the slave to prepare healthy meals would be an example of macro management. It is usually more efficient to macro manage numerous slave activities then it is to try to micro manage all of the slaves activities.
Dangers of Macro Management
1) Too much freedom will result in confusion within the slave.
2) Macro Management can result in the Master not having or exerting enough control upon the slave.
3) Feelings of inadequacies within the slave due to not having enough control exerted upon them
Benefits of Macro Management
1) The Master is able to maintain appropriate level of control over His property.
2) If a crisis arises, the Master will be able to focus His control on the crisis at hand and micro manage that specific situation.
3) Teaches the slave responsibility
4) Allows the slave to prioritize.
5) Allows for a well-rounded development.
6) Reduced risk of burn out.
7) Provides flexibility for the slave.
8) Enhances productivity of both Master and slave.
9) Greater flexibility for both slave and Master
10) Increased self-confidence and self-esteem for slave as she contributes and makes daily decisions based on what her Master has taught her and what she believes He desires.
11) Consistent approach to managing the slave.
12) Macro management allows the slave to maintain some of her independence even if the Master gives that independence to her by allowing and trusting in her to make her own decisions on certain aspects of her life.
In any healthy BDSM relationship there is a balance between Macro and Micro management. This balance is dependent upon the two partners and what they desire. In a BDSM relationship we often fantasize about doing or being micro-managed however in reality, to completely perform this tasks is almost impossible. Environmental influences have to be correct in order for a complete micro-management situation to occur. As a slave, the Master cannot micro manage you if you work. For He then is not there to tell you how to drive, what station to listen to on the radio, or how to deal with issues at work. These are your responsibility. Hence He is not micro managing.
The whole idea of discussing this is for individuals to become aware of what exactly micro and macro management is. And that in fantasy micro management is appealing but in reality there are many issues and consequences to actually achieving 24/7 micro management. Each relationship is unique and each relationship incorporates some aspect of both micro and macro management. It is a balancing act and problems arise when the scales become unequal or when the transition is too intense or too rapid. A Master cannot just walk into a slaves life and begin to micro manage, as with everything else within this lifestyle, time, trust, honesty, integrity, and respect are paramount in the building of a healthy BDSM relationship.
I believe if You are a micro-manager, or have a tendency to micromanage large parts of Your slaves actions and life, then You need to change if You want Your slave to thrive. Only by letting go will You create a slave that can operate without You — yet still maintain in her heart and her actions what will please You. Operating without You does not mean independence it means the slave knows what brings You pleasure and is capable of making those decisions to reflect that. Slaves that are capable of operating without the Owner are also more likely to survive a crisis, to survive the relationship, to maintain their level of self-confident and self-esteem. This is needed to have a healthy relationship