I came across an article today about tips to having better anal sex. These tips can be used for male-female penetration, male-male penetration, or strap-on play.
Lube is incredibly important when experimenting with anal play, since the anus is not self-lubricating, unlike the vagina. Some people find that certain lubes work better than others with anal sex– for example, silicone lubrication is known for being thicker and longer-lasting, making it optimal for anal play. As with all lubricants, I recommend that people take care to purchase lubes without glycerin, parabens, and nonoxynol-9, a spermicide, all of which can trigger irritation. […]
Furthermore, (…) I want to stress the importance of fingering and annilingus (which entails mouth-to-ass action) prior to attempting anal penetration with a penis or dildo. Although some might consider this more advanced anal play, I encourage this because it is one way for people to become more comfortable with their anuses. The more comfortable you are, the more relaxed you may find yourself, and relaxation is of utmost importance when engaging in anal sexual activity.[…]
I also recommend that you take your time. Anal sex should never be rushed. It’s understandable to be excited, both as the penetrator and the one being penetrated, but it is super important to fight that urge to be impatient. Start off slow! When introducing fingers, I recommend the “doorbell technique,” which is entails pressing the pad of your finger against the anus as though you’re pressing on a–you guessed it!– doorbell. […]
Furthermore, I want to make a note that anal play should not be painful. If you find yourself in pain, this is your body signalling to you that something is wrong. For this reason, I recommend steering clear of anus desensitizers, which numb the anus and therefore prevent you from knowing if they are accidentally causing damage to the body. If you experience pain even after plenty of preparation, I suggest exploring that pain and learning from it: where are you experiencing the pain in your anus? How does it feel–sharp or dull? Does it vary? Figuring these things out are helpful in that they help you learn about your body and its limits.