Well just maybe I am not as vile as I thought I was. Over the recent months post and articles have been popping up all over the place, even on fetlife, and other social site as well.
While in a D’s relationship Master and Submissive or slave. The Dominant goes through s form of training. this can take anywhere from 6 months to a year, before the submissive or slave is able to fully adapt.
This can be from the way they speak, act in private and public, the way they walk, dress, even they way one eats. Different protocols. public and private. With all of this always comes positive reinforcement. After all we want ours to be the best they can be, no matter what there doing, be it home, work, or just out in public.
When the two first meet, they both lay out expectations, of what each are looking for, and want out of the relationship, Where they are now , where they want to be in six months, a year and so on. This is where the compatibility comes in, you truly see if your both fit for each other.
I myself love beautiful women, but beauty comes in many forms, that is why I do not base much on looks, personality is first and foremost, intelligences, the ability to listen, how she carry’s herself, many many things come to mind. I have found if a woman is drop dead gorgeous, she can have the personality of a three legged pit bull, and be the ugliest bitch on earth. So I never base anything on looks, but there has to be some physical attraction.
Last year I met a potential, slave. I picked her up early 7am. went to breakfast, then to Universal Studios. The house of blues, then a late night dinner, where our conversation got deep. As we were eating, I asked her what she was looking for. She replied I want you to break me. I sat there dumb founded for a minute , she repeated I WANT YOU TO BREAK ME..
Now most men or Dominants this would be a dream come true, here I have this slave who just wants me to break her down to the lowest level possible. I can do anything I want. Wrong.
With this comes a great deal of responsibility, I for one am not up to such a task, and I am certainty not going to fuck with someones well being., or be responsible for a possible break down…
So my response was I am not interested, I am not going to do it, don’t want to do it, and I do not know anyone that would, well yes I do. That is besides the point. I was not going to be responsible for her.
There is a huge difference in training a slave or submissive, verses breaking them, and having to spend who knows how much time in bringing them back up, if you can.
At that point I was a fake. I did not know what I was doing, I was not a true master. Okay I can live with that…. It goes much deeper though..
There are two separate meanings when it comes to breaking a slave. The first I’d like to cover is breaking IN a slave. In this meaning, training is meant to adjust the slave’s core attitudes and behaviors to be more in tune with the Master. Think about the things you typically break in; shoes, furniture, gloves, hats. All of these you’ve flexed and bent to fit into your mold and hold it’s shape, whether this be your feet, your behind or your head. The same goes for breaking in a slave. We all go through a molding process. It certainly seems that as slaves, we do pass a point where the major force of our resistance and self-defensive mechanisms, the shell, is broken, and we enter a state of pliancy and moldability for our owners.
The training we undergo is also a from of breaking in. You will be told what is expected of you, learn the right and wrong way to go about certain tasks and anything else that the Master wishes to enhance or downplay in your manner or behavior. It is not uncommon to always undergo training and also to have to retrain when a new relationship commences.
The idea of “breaking a slave” is the more extreme form of molding. I perceive it as a forced breakdown of someone’s own will, their own attitude and sometimes their own thought processes. What generally results is a blank canvas upon which the Master can apply behaviors, attitudes and reactions that would please them. In many broken slave cases I’ve read about; the submissive/slave doesn’t even remember how to think for themselves anymore. They have no dependence, they have no limits where they used to have limits and in very rare cases I’ve seen fear of the unknown where things once were known.
My impressions of breaking a slave is that it could have severe and harmful effects on the slave if done incorrectly or incompletely. I don’t think I’d agree to “be broken” by anyone that I didn’t trust implicitly not only with my safety but with the methods they employ to change me.
Now I’ve seen and read about submissives and slaves that consider themselves broken but I see them in a different view. They have willingly become powerfully subservient, brainwashed (for lack of a better word), and live solely for the rule of the Master of the house. I find these relationships challenging and hard yet beautiful and very moving. It’s like these people move as one person. I don’t believe that the process has hurt the persons involved.
I’m not sure what would be more work though… to break someone down to the blank slate just to rebuild them in whatever manner you choose, or to mold and bend someone from what they are to what you want them to be. Either way, in both cases, it needs to be consensual and negotiated.