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What I have Learned as a Dominant

I was 18 in Korea, it sucked, well for a while. I became very good friends with a Korean private. We were like best friends, at that time 1980 he made about four dollars a month, and sent half of that home.

What I did not know he was into the lifestyle, he had two slaves that lived with him. Both worked and kept things in order. I would go to his home, I thought things were kinda weird, but hey I was just 18.

After about 6 months or so Kim invited me to a show he called it, so we went, it was like a theater about 100 people were present. By this time I was able to understand some Korean and speak some, so when the man was on the stage talking I was catching bits and pieces of it.

The first female was tied up, tight no sex took place just rope, wax, spanking, and yes the almighty cane.The show lasted about an hour. Afterwards I told kim I wanted to talk to the old man.

About a week later we all had dinner, I was fascinated with the old man, I wanted to learn everything I could, I wanted women falling at my feet.

A couple of weeks later we went back out to eat, and he told me to order his dinner the same thing he had last time. What? I did not have a clue to what he had or drank. He began to yell at me, Kim said it was because I did not listen to him at the last dinner.

Well today I get that, I know now what he was telling me. 90% of the relationship is communication, not only to listen but to take it in and use it

My anger issues were not under control until my late 20’s I was learning how to control myself, and be in control of who I was with, even if they were not submissive, it still worked. Amazing I was getting so much pussy it was not funny, but what I was doing was wrong, because I had no feelings for the girls I was dating, yup get in there head and I was home.

It was not until my early 30’s I met my first Slave she was a masochist, although I knew a little about the lifestyle, I was still learning even today I am learning.

I saw her for about 6 years, 3 or 4 times a week, a couple of hours at a time. She was a no limit slave, no limits at all. She never cried, not a whimper. She was also the first I fisted, incredible. She really taught me a lot I was able to grow. The first time we had a session when I left I was scared to death. Sitting in my car she was black and blue from the neck down, laying in her bed in awe.

I learned needle play, piercing, humiliation and how to control it. Most of all I learned when she had enough, what her tolerance was I knew when to stop, I could see it in her eyes.

Sometime around the 4th year I began to lose interest. Why? because I was really not a sadist, the humiliation became a burden because I always had to out do the last session.

The last time saw her I went to her house and this guy answered the door he said im her husband, really wow. He had been in prison he started crying telling me I ruined her. wow.

That was the first time I had seen her cry, when I started to leave. What I did learn in our time, was greater communication, I had more control, without an ego. I knew when to stop, and I knew I didnt want to hurt her.

This has helped me a great deal, one reason being since then I have had 4 other long term relationships, although the submissive felt the need to have a safe word, one was never used. I paid attention I talked to them during a session, to insure they were okay

My last I was a Daddy Dom, she was the light of my life, she was my last thought before I went to sleep, and my first when I woke up. Seven years wow she was 18 I was 37, her parents went fucking nuts.

Our relationship was very tight, we knew what each other was going to say before hand. Everyday she met me at the door kneeling, very humble. She wore a collar and leash while at home. Even when out she followed protocol, I had task for her to complete. She needed micromanagement, which after a short time I knew this was not a good thing for her, it never is, unless you just want a body around the house, and way to much work.

The relationship is about growing, learning, positive reinforcement, and communication. everything else just falls into place.

When she left it was kinda messed up, but I understood. She had the need to be with someone her own age.She found out fast a young dom was not the same as an older one. She went through several, and ended up getting married to a friend of mines dad, go figure.

We still stay in touch, most of the time it is only when she is having a problem. I have had to go over and speak with her dom.

Anyway just a little about me….

Vile

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3 comments on “What I have Learned as a Dominant

  1. “The relationship is about growing, learning, positive reinforcement, and communication. everything else just falls into place.”
    Thanks for sharing your story, Vile.

  2. Thank you for sharing…it’s nice to know what can make a Dom tick.

  3. Thank you for allowing us into your world. It’s much appreciated.

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