In the BDSM lifestyle there are many different roles, we all have different needs, fetishes, kinks. Our imagination grows daily. Everyday is a learning process for us.
Here is the tricky part, what are we? I myself have played many different roles in the past 20 years, it was not until I hit the 5 year mark, when I come to realize what my role was in BDSM, for the first couple of years, I was a sadist. My first real long term relationship was with a masochist. She really helped me learn a lot and expand my role. Even though I was a sadist I was not a dominant. We did not have that kind of relationship,because even though she was a masochist she was not a submissive. Does that make sense ?
You can be a submissive, and not into the play scene, the submissive is content just being a service submissive..
You can be a dominant, and not into the play scene. in most cases this is called domestic discipline, the same with the submissive I spoke about, into service, wants the man to control, but not into the play part of BDSM. A lot of religions today practice this form of living, with the exception, the submissive excepts the punishment if a rule is broken.
It is very important if your new to the lifestyle, to sit down and think what is your role ? What is it you want out of the relationship ? How far do you want to go ?
I started out as a sadist, but as I grew I felt I needed more, I did not want the control, I needed it, it was true need, but I also wanted the kink, with in the relationship.
As a dominant I have played a few roles, I believe that if you are true to your word, and you have an interest in a submissive, you can somewhat conform to fit the submissives needs and still be happy.
You may have never played the daddy dom but you meet a submissive you take a liking to, there you go, but and there is always a but, once you assume this role it is you. You cannot change the rules midstream.
Are you a dominant ? are you a sadist ? are you a submissive ? are you a slave ?
Something to think about.