An article I ran across I found to be very interesting..
The problems with the definition of abuse within an Absolute and Total Power Exchange commitment/relationship is very clear. Abuse is completely subjective. Everyone has different perceptions, principles and standards, as well as different needs, wants and kinks.
So, lets look at some commonly used definitions, and see how applicable and useful they might be in finding a standard definition of abuse in APE/TPE: .
Majority: A majority of people in the “vanilla” society around the world do consider everyone who is into BDSM or APE/TPE as either an abuser or abusee. Even the majority in the mainstream BDSM community, who are themselves considered abusers and abusee’s by the vanilla society, consider those who practice APE/TPE as abusers and abusee’s. Clearly the concept of “majority” cannot be used to define a standard of abuse in APE/TPE. .
Law: Many activities within BDSM or APE/TPE are illegal and against the law. Even slavery itself, consensual or not, is against the law. In some states sadomasochism is illegal, while in other states anal sex or even oral sex, is illegal and against the law. Clearly the concept of “law” cannot serve us to define a standard of abuse within APE/TPE. .
Health: Many would think that the concept of a healthy Dominant, submissive or even activity can be used as a standard. Unfortunately, “health” is again a most subjective term. A majority of healthcare professionals do consider those into BDSM or APE/TPE as unhealthy or mentally ill. In the very least Dominants and submissives both possess all the signs of “unhealthy” Co-Dependency. Clearly the concept of “health” cannot be applied in the definition of abuse in APE/TPE. .
Harm: What is considered harmful to some, is a need and desire to others. Even a simple bruise could be considered as harm. Not to mention a tattoo, a piercing, a branding or a stroke with a cane or flogger. Clearly harm is very subjective and cannot be used as a standard in defining abuse in APE/TPE. .
Inhumanity: For some extreme de-humanization is a most desired need. Others crave to be completely objectified or used as a pet, pony or pig. Human or Inhuman is also very subjective again. Clearly “inhumane” cannot be used as a standard for definition of abuse in APE/TPE. .
Sustainability: This is actually a pretty good concept. Any activity that can be repeated indefinitely without leading to death would be acceptable. Unfortunately, life itself is not sustainable. Even piercings, brandings etc. will eventually lead to dead if repeated too often. As every food becomes poisonous if eaten in excess, I believe every activity will eventually lead to dead. The concept of sustainability however would restrict the Masters absolute power, which of course would be in opposition to APE/TPE. Clearly, while “sustainability” is a pretty good attempt, it cannot be used as a standard to define abuse in APE/TPE. .
Safe: “Safety” is about as subjective as it gets. Safe for what, safe for whom, what in this world is really safe ? Without going much further here, clearly “safe” cannot be possibly be used as a standard to define abuse in APE/TPE. .
Sane: The King of subjectivity. What really is sane ? Who really is sane ? Are we all insane ? I am sane. You are not. It is impossible to even consider “sanity” as a definition of abuse in APE/TPE. .
Consent: Another very good concept, in which everything that is consensual would not be abuse. However, a slave consents completely, absolutely and unconditional when accepting a Masters collar. If applied to APE/TPE the concept of “consent” alone would negate even the slightest possibility of abuse. Clearly, if the concept of abuse is valid in APE/TPE, and I believe it is, then it cannot be defined with the concept of “consent” alone. .
Abuse: Clearly the most abused word in the English language. Without definition it is meaningless and absurd in its application to Absolute and Total Power Exchange. .
Our through the practice of Absolute and Total Power Exchange inherited inability to find a clear standard of definition of abuse in APE/TPE, of course, leaves us in a real dilemma. .
Who gets to define and set standards as to what is acceptable and what not ? Who gets to say my Kink is good and your Kink is bad ? Who has the right to impose and dictate their limits and regulations on all others ? Who gets to determine what’s right or wrong for everyone else? .
The simple truth is, it doesn’t mean a thing what you might think or say. It really means squat what even I think or say. And in APE/TPE it doesn’t even matter what a slave might think. Unless a definition of “abuse” in APE/TPE can be found and established as a standard which is applicable to everyone, it only matters what a slaves Master thinks or says. .
So, if we cannot find a clear definition standard applicable, acceptable and adoptable to everyone practicing Absolute and Total Power Exchange, by way of defining abuse, we must now look at what abuse is not: .
As we all should agree that a slave is her Masters property, and has no rights other then the privileges granted by her Master, and the slave consents, surrenders and submits completely, voluntary and unconditional when accepting her Masters collar, then a Master may do with his slave as he alone sees fit, according to his wants and needs, as well as his values, principles and beliefs. The Master has the final decision in all matters and issues within this power structure. Once a slave has accepted her Masters collar and consented to be his total and unconditional slave, no further consent is needed or required. .
In turn a Master is completely and absolutely responsible for his slave’s behavior, actions and deed, care and safety, health and wellbeing – physically and mentally, and ultimately her life in accordance with God’s Law, His Higher Self, or the Laws of Nature, Universal Laws, Human Laws, Spiritual Laws, you pick it… all according to a Masters values, believes, principles, character, etc. .
The forgoing conditions must be met for it to be a consensual APE/TPE slavery commitment. Any conditions, limits or restrictions imposed on the Master by the slave, would negate APE/TPE slavery. Period. Absolute and Total, mean just that. Absolute, Total and Unconditional. .
Derived from the forgoing conditions here is my general attempt of definition of “abuse” within an APE/TPE commitment as it could be applied to everyone: .
“”Abuse” is doing something to someone, else that you have no right to do, or having them do something to you that they have no right to, or to use or be used wrongly or improperly.” .
This is indeed a very fitting and useful definition of abuse, especially if applied to our Absolute Master and slave commitments/relationships such as APE/TPE. .
However, while the Masters rights grant him almost omnipotent powers and authority (as it should be) and they are almost self-explanatory, the proper, improper and wrong use of a slave puts us right back into the dilemma, as everyone has different perceptions of proper and improper use, as everyone has different values, needs, and kinks. .
Therefore, in all my years in this lifestyle, the only definition of abuse in APE/TPE, that I could conclude, which is applicable and should be acceptable to everyone is the definition of intent. .
If a Master continually does “harm” to his slaves in a way, that he did not intent to originally, such as it might be the case with alcohol or drug abuse, mental illness, or any other significant mental or emotional imbalance, this might indeed constitute “abuse”, even within an absolute relationship. The emphasis here must lay on the Masters intention, or “non intention” for that matter. .
This definition seems to me, to be the one and only definition of “abuse” in APE/TPE that can be accepted, adopted and even practiced, by everyone practicing Absolute and Total Power Exchange. .
Anyone wishing to use this article on their site or mailing list may do so as long as the article remains unchanged and my name and email address remain on them. Giving credit where it belongs. .